Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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