did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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