I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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