Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Randomize
