well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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