Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
