Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
