We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
