from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
