Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize