She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
