I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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