I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
