somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
