I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
