I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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