WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
