I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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