Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
