dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
