So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
