Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
