it hurts more in the daytime
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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