a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm sobbing to NWA
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
