You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize