WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
it hurts more in the daytime
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize