Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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