You're so nebulous sometimes
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
