My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
