ya dads aren't the best wingmen
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
