Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
