HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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