he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
