I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
