Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
operation harelip BJ is a go
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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