i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize