Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
