I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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