I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
