I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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