So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Blood and glitter go together right?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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