the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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