What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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