I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
