it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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