So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
4 words: hood of his car
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize