You're completely useless in the revolution.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
