At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
