don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize