My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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