I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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