If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
