I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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