Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
