You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
