he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
