You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
