Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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