Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
