you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
