Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
