I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
