3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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