Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
