I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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