The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
