3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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