That's intense
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
