She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
