if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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