This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
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