You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She tied me up with her honor cords...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
