White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
